Yesterday my toddler fell asleep on the toilet. I was right there, but didn’t realize that he had actually dozed off as he leaned forward onto my lap after 35 minutes of pretty much nothing. He was desperate for a BM, but equally stubborn. I sat on his foot stool in front of him, my back aching, and I was growing seriously aggravated. Suddenly, faint snores escaped his little mouth, and I had to call my husband for back up. I’m seven months pregnant and moving a three year old ain’t so easy these days. And so it was another unsuccessful attempt at potty training, and I tried not to be discouraged.
Today, although he showed signs during daycare, he still refused to go. When I got him home, he couldn’t hold off any longer and finally after 20 minutes sitting on the pot, me reading to him, he gave in and let loose. Yes. Success at last. I don’t know who was more happy.
Potty training has not been a favorite lesson in the world of parenting. I’m sure most mamas and papas would agree. My little man has had my husband and I running in circles after him. What a sight we must have been, not long ago, during another unsuccessful attempt. Our little boy bare bottomed and giggling, while two grown ups chased him with a potty, bickering and throwing blame like children.
It’s taken it’s toll. I researched the best ways to approach the subject. I understand that you cannot show frustration, and you cannot force your child, thus causing a negative experience; but man, it takes a saint to achieve this goal without wanting to pull your hair out. After about a year of taking breaks from the training, we have only achieved peeing in the potty about 90% of the time, and 3 BMs; all in the last few months. With another child on the way, I’m looking to get this project completed soon, and I pray he doesn’t revert back to the diaper, as many articles have warned. I can only do my best, I suppose, but I have come to learn a few tricks that helped us both during these trying attempts:
1. Set him up to potty independently even though you should stay to keep him in the vicinity. We have a little seat attached to our toilet and a foot stool for him to get on and off. I have a book and a few toys to keep him occupied.
2. If he chooses to get off before achieving success, allow him to, but keep him bare bottomed and watch him closely. As soon as he performs the “poopy dance,” direct him to the potty again. My son finally realised that he could not avoid it, so he climbed back on and stayed there until he was done.
3. When you know he’s in the midst of a BM, divert your eyes and give him some privacy. I noticed my son would look up at me, but I’d continue to read his book, while secretly cheering. Eventually he will let you know that he’s done.
4. Upon success show tons of enthusiasm and give a lot of praise.
5. Give him the treat meant only for such occasions, and continue to act like he’s a hero. It makes the experience bearable for him, and he won’t be so reluctant to get back on the next time round.
Don’t forget that these tips are based on my experience, and all children are different. I cannot guarantee that in months to come, I won’t be chasing a bare bottomed toddler around the coffee table while my newborn baby girl cries to be changed in the background, but I sure as hell will try to avoid it.
Good luck to you all, and if you have better tips than mine. Please share.